I’m constantly bouncing between getting better and falling apart, on the bright side, losing touch with my harsh reality is so much easier when I get out of the house and absorb the beauty that surrounds me. I can breath a little easier.
Try as I might I cannot find it within my heart to write about any of the woes of my past, or stats related to domestic violence. The only thing I can do at this point is write about absolutely nothing of true value. I’m heavy and weary and desperately trying to break free from the hurts of the past. I desire to shed the skin of recurrent failure and put on a new suit. A suit of life, love and beauty. I could rant on about the sorry state of the world and the sorry state of all things deplorable, but I got nothin’.
So, I set out today to find inspiration for my writer’s block and nada. Although irritation did rear it’s ugly head when I got stuck in the rush hour hell and watched the traffic light change not once, not twice, but thrice before I realized that this numbskull had decided to give a ticket to some poor soul at a traffic light. He couldn’t just follow the man to a better destination. Oh, no, he had to do it right then and right there.
It just happened to be 90 degrees today, my A/C is broken, I had to piss like a champion race horse and I was holding my legs together tighter than Dick’s hat band.
Of course, the cussin’ started when no one would allow me to go over to the next lane to get around this foolish doler outer of justice.
Finally, I very kind fellow sojourner allowed me to gain entrance in the lane beside me so I could get around this ridiculous debacle and I headed straight for the Sonic where I procured a large chocolate shake and took a much-needed piss.
I decided at that point that I would go to the nearby park and sit under the shade tree (actually lay in the grass), suck down my chocolate shake with a vengeance and enjoy the view.(Of the sky)
I took a pic of a pretty tree with pretty clouds and I felt better. 😉
Did anything come to mind? Nope
Did my empty head think of anything great to write? Nope
Did I enjoy the peace and serenity of the beauty of nature? Yep
Baileys, a picnic basket, and 81 degrees of wonder and sunshine filled my day in the backyard where the water spray smack dab in the middle of the pond mesmerized. It’s easy to forget where I’ve been and all that I’ve lived through when gazing on such tranquil beauty. The need for anything at all was outweighed by the tender kiss of the sun on my face forming new memories filled with the promises of peace and a happy future.
I’m hard pressed to think back on the misery of my past life today and I’m thankful for that.