Teela Hart

Surviving Domestic Violence


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Time is passing.


As you all know Teela has passed early this year, and as her son I feel the need to take over and see how things are going and I’m glad to see her memory live on and see more people reading her work. You are all a blessing and give me some  sort of happiness through these hard times. 

Thank you!

RCH~


19 Comments

Bad news


Hello everyone this is Teela’s son, I must inform you all that Teela has passed away yesterday, she was a strong brave woman and fought hard until the end. She was very sick with multiple problems such as RSV, COPD, and Pnuemonia. I know her stories were outstanding and I hate she couldn’t have made another one. God bless you all.


61 Comments

The Shelter Life


The the kids and I are in a shelter.
There’s not much more I can say.
We are managing. One day at a time, and at times, one minute at a time.
I miss y’all and I hope to get back soon.

It may take a bit to reply to comments but I will.


41 Comments

You Know Don’t You?


Due to my circumstances I’m making this post via this contraption we call an iPhone.

I have gone over and over in my mind what to say and how to say it and I haven’t got a clue. (Typing with my thumbs is a definite disadvantage.) 😉

I’ve been from piller to post over the last month, makin’ plans, huntin’, gatherin’, fallin’ down repeatedly and gettin’ back up.

Surely y’all see, feel, realize and know that I ain’t simply just gettin’ back up.

Don’t you?

Obviously y’all know that each one of you form a collective force in my world that is composed of hope, assurance, light, energy, patience, and undying support in my absence and my presence.

Don’t you?

Undoubtedly-you must know that Y’ALL pull me back up with your arms of love and kindness.

Don’t you?

Most assuredly y’all know that every like, every word in every line, every sentiment embodies me and drives me forward in ways I just can not adequately express.

Don’t you?


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Language Matters When Engaging Survivors of Domestic Violence in Discussion


I have children and I am forced to deal with this issue on a regular basis and I can say that this hits the nail on the head in every way.
Thank you for making this post Sweet Marie.

Picking Up the Pieces

Words have the power to be dangerous, and when you are speaking in terms of domestic abuse, semantics do matter.  So often, statements and quotes offered up in attempt to encourage a survivor of domestic violence actually end up having the opposite effect.  How many of us will internalize what you said without seeking clarification, maybe being influenced to change the meaning attached to the simplest of words that could result in us reassigning blame to ourselves?  How many of us would momentarily protest but give up once we have been talked over enough?  How many of us would speak up in our defense and make our voice heard?

Opening up and holding a dialogue open about how abuse happens is imperative.  With the number of reported cases climbing, and taking into consideration the vast number of victims not coming forward, it is urgent that we talk openly about it…

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GUEST POST: “Pales in Comparison” – By Americana Injustica


 

 

Hello everyone: happy Saturday to all of you ever-supportive people who visit my dear friend Teela Hart’s blog regularly, I am Americana Injustica – and Teela is my right hand. I am simply here as a guest blogger in her absence, to keep her stats up (just kidding, we don’t need no stinking stats…) – to keep her spirits up. She struggles.

Some of you know, Tee is away for a time, to find some strength in the peace and quiet of ‘anywhere but here’…I’d like to report that she is on vacation, but I suspect that would be a gross mislabeling of her ongoing necessity to live in FEAR.

I don’t know how many of Teela’s readers have lived it to be here reading this now (likely quite a few I’m sure – myself included), but I can say there are a lot of us out there. Too many have experienced ‘terrorism’ or ‘trauma’ in its most cruel and raw form – within the walls of a place called ‘home’. Too many realize too late that they have entered a mind-phuq zone from which there is little hope of escaping; too many never make it out alive. TRUTH.

Today, I am strong.

Today, I am free.

Today, I can hold the light out in front of myself and the masses of shivering, terrified Survivors of Trauma who walk, newly freed, along a very crumbly trail at my back into a life of their very own.

Today, I have survived.

Despite my motivation and the fire within me to move others to safety, I was once the epitome of a victim, not a survivor. I was broken by my ex-husband in ways I honestly perceived as being permanent during the recovery from my traumatic injury…life never seemed to have the same feel as it did before being so brutally betrayed by someone I had loved, shared marriage and children with, and committed myself to. I thought I had it bad, as a newborn survivor of my near-fatal marriage.

But Teela….

It’s hard for me to really put it into words when it comes to Tee; when she and I first met, she said (and I quote), “…my story pales in comparison to yours…”, a line that I have never forgotten for a single moment since, as a very telling aspect of her personality and perception of Self.

She thinks she hasn’t been through shit; as if she’s not worthy to be called a Cut Throat Survivor sometimes, she forgets that she can be free, she somehow still doesn’t see herself for all that she is…it baffles me. I love her fiercely for this reason: she is so innocent and pure, untainted by the YEARS and YEARS of Hell she lived inside of – still open and willing somehow…still so very human in every way…

If ever there was a woman out there in the world who I would stab an abusive mf’er in his neck for – it’s Tee.

Teela has never been acknowledged for her long-term strife as a domestic hostage of someone she loved and committed herself to, because she’s built that way: to keep her word.

She’s earned my undying respect and admiration through her impenetrable strength at the clubhouse; she is our “mouse” of the house, but her voice, although very quiet and soft-spoken, carries distances that none of the rest of us can maintain, because we aren’t Teela Hart.

This is just my way of trying to publicly blast her TRUTHS while she can’t defend herself and be all humble in her customary ways. She would probably never let this post through if she was editing, but she’s not so I’m running with it…

I love you, Tee. I’ve got your back; ALWAYS.


33 Comments

Dental Hell


I’ve had 4 dental procedures in 5 days and needless to say, it’s been a miserable five days.

Dental Procedures

 

I haven’t been reading a lot of blogs because of this incessant headache. (From the Nitrous) And the tooth pain from the root canals. (Two of them) Caps, wires and such.

All related to the abuse of the ex.

I am far behind on Awards and reading blogs.

I beg your patience with me.

I’ll get back to my old self soon.

I love y’all.

Teela


15 Comments

The Brave Heart Award


brave-heart-award-main-award-blueI’m still trying to catch up on the awards that were so graciously given and I am woefully behind and I do apologize for that.  I was given this award by Battered Wife Seeking Better Life.  I was also awarded this honor by Elicit by Nature many moons ago, who has since gone private, however, I feel it only right to thank her for considering me a brave heart.  They are both truly sister-survivors and I humbly accept this award and I am happy to pass it on.

Rules for accepting the award are as follows:

1) Thank the person who nominated you.

2) Post a comment on your nominees blog (with a link back to your Brave Heart Award results), notifying them that they have been nominated for The Brave Heart Award with the quote below.

Stand Strong You Are Not Alone

I call you a survivor, because that is what you are. There are days when you don’t feel like a survivor and there are days when the memories trigger your past and it feels like you are losing the fight – but you are not. Take the past and heal with it. You are strong. I want you to know that the abuse was not your fault. It does not matter what age it happened. You did not deserve it, you did not cause it, and you did not bring it on yourself. You own no shame, guilt, or remorse. In your life, you have faced many demons but look around you and you will see there is hope, and there is beauty. You are beautiful, You are loved, there is hope. You deserve to be loved and treated with respect. You deserve peace and joy in your life. Don’t settle for anything less than that. God has plans for you. Your future does not have to be dictated by your past.

Each step you take you are not alone.

Stand Strong.

3.  Take the 12 question interview yourself and share your answers on your blog.

4.  Nominate 12 blogs.

5.  Share the 12 question interview with your nominees to answer.

6.  Share your 12 nominees website/blog links on your blog page.

7.  You can not nominate a blog if they have already received the Brave Heart Award.

Interview with myself:

1) Tell us about your blog.

My blog chronicles my life as a victim and my transition into survivor, which, continues on a daily basis.  I tried to design my blog, however, I had to have a little help from my friends as I am IT challenged.  🙂

2) What is the title and description of your blog?

The title of my blog is a very simple one.  My name (pseudonym).  I chose the name…….are you ready for this?  I chose my name from the He-Man cartoon series.  Teela was the warrior goddess and Hart was chosen because I still have one even after the years of abuse I suffered.  I lived in Domestic Violence for 19 years before finally making the great escape/exodus etc.  I have many layers to my personality, some funny, some serious, some angry, some other stuff.  I’m just a woman.  No more, no less.

3) Who is your intended audience?

Originally, my intended audience was anyone who has been or still is in a domestic violence situation.  I believe that the spectrum has broadened.  In my mind, it makes sense to reach as many who are oblivious to domestic violence as I can in order to bring it to the forefront.  I want everyone I can reach to know DV is a real and deadly epidemic and desperately needs to be addressed.

4)  How did you come up with the title of your blog?

See # 2.  Other than that, “Surviving Domestic Violence” is what I do every day and it seemed to fit me.

5) Give us an interesting fun fact about your blog.

Well, I do not always blog about DV.  Sometimes I simply blog about my daily experiences, because, well, I’m still human, and I’m still a woman.  I frequently blog about music I love, life’s funny shit that gets thrown my way.  (Even though at the time it may not be all that funny.)  I can’t forget my rants which are not all that fun I suppose, but if you give it time (6 months or so) it get’s funnier.  😉

6) What other blogs do you own and what makes them alike?

None.  This is it.

7) Do you have any unique talents or hobbies?

This could be a loaded question, so, I’ll say not really.  Oh, I do love to ride the roads.  It clears my head.

8) How can we contact you or find out more about your blog?

I have my email address under contact on my blog and the only way to find out more about my blog is to read it.  😀

9) What can we expect from you in the future.

More of the same.

10)  What can readers do who enjoy your blog do to help make your blog more successful?

Feedback is always welcome, I have buttons so that readers can share on twitter or FB.  (You might not want to share my rants :/ ) But, please feel free to share anything else.  🙂

11)  Do you have any tips for readers or advice for other writers/bloggers?

Most definitely.  Be yourself.  Don’t be ashamed to be so.  Sometimes I feel I should be strictly DV oriented.  I have learned as I stated earlier in this post that I am an onion.  I have many layers.  I am more than a survivor.  I am survivor yes, but I’m also a woman with a mind of my own and it’s ok for me to be both.  Same goes for you.  Unless of course you’re a man.

12:  Before you go, could you share a snippet from your blog?

“Silence is Deadly”

Your heart, mind, body and soul is caged like a wild animal and you reciprocate by acting like one. You know nothing but obedience or reprisal. No one hears your cries of desperation; they turn a blind eye and may even take the side of your captor out of fear of retribution themselves. Your life’s spirit now sucked from you and into the vacuum of a soulless being, you give up the fight.

It is now time to die by either his hands or your own.

Silence is deadly.

My nominations:

Alien Aura’s Blog

afterthepsychopath

sociopathlife

Picking Up The Pieces

 

 


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Sisterhood of the World Blogger Award


 

sisterhood

Quite a while back I was nominated for the Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award, by Cordeliasmom and I have to say I am honored.  I am very thankful for the award and her blog is awesome.  You should go check her out.  Especially if you want your funny bone tickled a bit.

According to the rules, I must share a bit about myself, display the badge on my site, and mention the person who nominated you in your post.  The problem with sharing about myself is that I’ve shared almost everything I can think of.  But, I will attempt to share some things you already know and a few things you may not know.

1) My favorite color is blue

2) I’m competitive when it comes to Canasta.

3) I am a rebel.  (You know tell me not to and……….well, I just might have to.)

4) I’m protective over my children.

5) I have a weird sense of humor.  (According to my children)

6) I’m an advocate for victims/survivors of Domestic Violence.

7) I love baseball. (The Atlanta Braves to be exact, but they choke under pressure and they need to work on that)

I would like to nominate my following sisters:

 All the sisters at the Cut-Throat Clubhouse

 

I can’t forget about the guys at the Clubhouse!

I have also nominated

“Noir” (Sedge808)

“The Dragon” aka “Willy Nilly”

For the  Peace and Justice Award.

peace-1

To accept the Peace and Justice Award:

Thank the person who nominated you.

Tell a little about yourself.

Nominate at least one person (more if you like) to receive the award.

Alright.  I skirted a few of the rules.

Like I said.

I am not always one to follow the rules.

Please post the award on your individual sites, as well as the Clubhouse site.  😀

I love y’all.

Teela aka Tee

 

 

 

 

 

 


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THEN THERE IS THE THUNDERBOLT


Thank you Mike
Powerful words indeed.

- MIKE STEEDEN -

Image

Colours fading

Before the sun

Takes its leave

Of blue skies

Spells trouble

Weather changing

Storm brewing

Birds make haste

To vanish

 

Colours fading

Aura changing

This time to mist

Red mist

Dominion is to passion

What a savage man

Is to love

 

The abused know

Such changes well

Unpredictable

Violent

No defence

Against the weather

No defence

Against the relentless

Fist

 

Then there is the thunder bolt

Still she says nothing

The incidental nothing

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A Resource For Men In An Abusive Relationship


Thank you Carrie.

Ladywithatruck's Blog

http://www.heart-2-heart.ca/men/

The above link is to a site dedicated to men in an abusive relationship. I know the focus here is usually on the women who are being abused, only because that is the majority of the people who come here but I certainly know that men are abused also.

I took a quick peekaboo at this site and it seems like an excellent resource for men, honest and realistic. It give a safety plan for leaving, what to expect when you leave and how to deal with your abuser.

Hugs to all the men out there dealing with a narcissistic woman, I hope this is helpful.

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The Funeral – Burying My Grief


Kim has been instrumental in helping me to “over” the issues I deal with each and every day. Please go by and pay her a visit. It will be well worth your time.
Thank you Kim. You are a light in the darkness.

Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed

Despair

This is a re-post of an article I wrote almost a year ago.  Because of its title, it doesn’t show up in most search queries related to Narcissism.  However, it’s a liturgy that has been highly effective for me, as well as several clients I’ve worked with.  I created it myself because I’d tried many other methods, including counseling, for grief and regret that didn’t help.  This rite helped me on a deep level, perhaps due to the symbolism involved. 

The road to recovery consists of trial and error.  What helps one person may or may not help another.  If you are experiencing deep levels of grief and/or regret as it relates to your having been a victim of emotional abuse, perhaps this article will be of help.  Namaste.

July 7, 2013 – 8:25 a.m. – Our past can affect us in many different ways, depending on our personality and the unique…

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This is a Fucking Rant! (Probably for my eyes only)


Please do not take this personally if you decide to read it at all.

It is not directed at any individual, but at a system of corruption and self-righteousness.

I am just me, looking through a rabbit hole skewed with nothing good and it’s painful and ugly.  No one wants to see the result of such a catastrophic set of events in a person’s life.  Especially that person, but it’s a necessary evil that I tend to need.  I have walked on eggshells forever.  This is a figurative smashing of those eggshells.

I really wanted to delete it and I probably should have.  But I cannot do that.

I’m not alone.  There are many survivors (of many different things) who feel this rage and they are not alone.  It’s important to me that those who do feel this way know that they are not alone.

Call it a lack of creativity in getting my point across.  Rebellion against holding my feelings in.  Call it whatever you like.

I mean no disrespect to any individual and that is where freedom of speech does come in as well as the freedom to choose not to read it.

I’m just being real here.

 

 

This is me.

Ranting to keep from exploding.

Although, I’m gonna fuckin hit the publish button of my own free will.

Un-coerced.  Un-censored.  Because if I don’t, I will fuckin explode.

 

It is however, directed at ANYONE who thinks they have all the answers, such as, but not limited to, Psychology, Physiology, Anatomy, or as I like to call ’em, distinguished members of the CTF, “the Card-Totin’ Fools”.  You are all being led around, like the most ignorant of all fucking animals.  Blind sheep-like sonsabitches tryin’ to lead the only fucking people that have the insight, wisdom and goddam experience necessary to walk this tight-rope we call fuckin’ survival.  I have two prized, golden, words for you.

FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Has anyone ever told your stupid-mother-fucking-idiotic-ass that it is possible to unscramble an egg?

They fuckin’ lied to you!   You cannot.  It is NOT possible.

This is the only way I know how to explain any of this shit to anybody, ever!  Ever!

As it is impossible to walk in someone’s shoes besides your fuckin’ own, get over your literate self and learn something from a veteran survivor of a constant war you know nothing of.  I am a SUR-VIV-OR!  (I decided to break that down for all the “schooled” mother-fuckers.)  Just in case.

I walked out of nursing school one day with all the wealth of knowledge available to me and I thought I knew it, ALL.  I learned real fuckin’ quick.  I DIDN’T.  I had to learn a little bit about the knowledge base I’d been given.  I learned it from the fuckin’ grunts.  I learned most of what I know from the grunts.  The VALUABLE, “nobodies” as you so eloquently put it.

Now let’s move on.  I hope all the idiots, in places they don’t fuckin’ deserve to be, got that shit.

WAR ZONE ENTRANCE: (Like there’s a fuckin’ sign other than bodies droppin’)

Fuckin’ CHAOS!  (I hope that paints the picture for ya)

Collateral damage is fuckin’ gynormous!  (Clearer now?)

Not only has the soldier been wounded, but also the nurse, the doctor, the medic, every-fuckin-body else is walking around with one limb and losing vital life’s blood caring for the most wounded, life-threatening injuries.  Arterial bleeds, eviscerations and avulsions (brains and guts hangin’ out).

Now first of all:  Maybe second, third, fourth and fifth of all.

I’m all about prevention.

Hell, let’s not have this fuckin’ war. (My arms are in the air and I got a real goddam sarcastic look on my face) because it’s

too late for some as the war’s been had and we’re all fucked, the only next logical step is…………?

Anyone care to make an oblivious guess?

 

It’s called DAMAGE-FUCKIN’-CONTROL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  TRIAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Breakdown:

This wound gets a bandaid.

This wound gets surgery.

This wound gets dead.

 

I live every-fuckin’-day in?

You guessed it!

TRIAGE.

I’ve briefed you on all the information that I have.  You got it all now? Chaotic so far, right?

Now, live it, like my children and I did and and still do and then come back and tell me somethin’ valuable.

I’m done!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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Everybody Get the F;%^k Back Down! *Warning: Offensive and Inapropriate*


I’ve seen things that I cannot un-see and I’ve done things that cannot undo.  I’m not going to throw that lemonade bullshit out there, but, I am gonna say that I’m just starting the hell over, from scratch.  I’ve discovered that I have a lotta gravel and tar in my personality.  Well, that’s not totally true, I’ve always had it, I just never let it out to play.  Today I’m weak and I’m gonna put it out there. Just remember, I’m under construction and you know how it is on a construction site.  A lot o’ saw dust, cussin, hollerin’, dirt piles, back hoes transits and the like.  There’s always a nail gun, a glue gun, extention chords and a whole slew o’ raw materials.

constructionI left home when I was 16, finished school, graduated from nursing school with honors, married, divorced, married and divorced.  I ignored most “closed road” signs.  Road Closed?  Not a problem, I’ll just skirt right on around that mother fucker and keep on gittin’ it.  This would be such an occasion for me, this particular post I mean.  My naughty side wants to come out and play and I’m sorry for all involved, but I’m gonna let her.

road closedLast summer I listened to a particular song over and over.  I didn’t pay any attention to the words, I liked the beat.  It made me wanna dance and dance I did, every time I heard it.  My children got a real kick out of it, mainly because I clueless to the words or  insinuations therein.  So, one fine day my daughter showed me the video of said song and I became, well, irate and more than a little irritated that I could no longer bop to the beet of this particular favorite of mine.  It was a true shock and awe moment when I realized my “hypocrisy knows no bounds.” (Doc Holiday)

As is true to me, I set out to make that shit right and stumbled looked for something to put this song to shame.  (As much as it breaks my heart.)  Without further ado, I present you with a masterpiece parody of this song.  It makes me feel better and I can most assuredly continue to dance with conviction now.

Men:  This may be offensive to you, but it’s funny as hell to me.  Just so you know, I wouldn’t say I’m a feminist, but I suppose that depends on one’s definition of feminist.  I use the word loosely.

😀