Teela Hart

Surviving Domestic Violence


16 Comments

GUEST POST: “Pales in Comparison” – By Americana Injustica


 

 

Hello everyone: happy Saturday to all of you ever-supportive people who visit my dear friend Teela Hart’s blog regularly, I am Americana Injustica – and Teela is my right hand. I am simply here as a guest blogger in her absence, to keep her stats up (just kidding, we don’t need no stinking stats…) – to keep her spirits up. She struggles.

Some of you know, Tee is away for a time, to find some strength in the peace and quiet of ‘anywhere but here’…I’d like to report that she is on vacation, but I suspect that would be a gross mislabeling of her ongoing necessity to live in FEAR.

I don’t know how many of Teela’s readers have lived it to be here reading this now (likely quite a few I’m sure – myself included), but I can say there are a lot of us out there. Too many have experienced ‘terrorism’ or ‘trauma’ in its most cruel and raw form – within the walls of a place called ‘home’. Too many realize too late that they have entered a mind-phuq zone from which there is little hope of escaping; too many never make it out alive. TRUTH.

Today, I am strong.

Today, I am free.

Today, I can hold the light out in front of myself and the masses of shivering, terrified Survivors of Trauma who walk, newly freed, along a very crumbly trail at my back into a life of their very own.

Today, I have survived.

Despite my motivation and the fire within me to move others to safety, I was once the epitome of a victim, not a survivor. I was broken by my ex-husband in ways I honestly perceived as being permanent during the recovery from my traumatic injury…life never seemed to have the same feel as it did before being so brutally betrayed by someone I had loved, shared marriage and children with, and committed myself to. I thought I had it bad, as a newborn survivor of my near-fatal marriage.

But Teela….

It’s hard for me to really put it into words when it comes to Tee; when she and I first met, she said (and I quote), “…my story pales in comparison to yours…”, a line that I have never forgotten for a single moment since, as a very telling aspect of her personality and perception of Self.

She thinks she hasn’t been through shit; as if she’s not worthy to be called a Cut Throat Survivor sometimes, she forgets that she can be free, she somehow still doesn’t see herself for all that she is…it baffles me. I love her fiercely for this reason: she is so innocent and pure, untainted by the YEARS and YEARS of Hell she lived inside of – still open and willing somehow…still so very human in every way…

If ever there was a woman out there in the world who I would stab an abusive mf’er in his neck for – it’s Tee.

Teela has never been acknowledged for her long-term strife as a domestic hostage of someone she loved and committed herself to, because she’s built that way: to keep her word.

She’s earned my undying respect and admiration through her impenetrable strength at the clubhouse; she is our “mouse” of the house, but her voice, although very quiet and soft-spoken, carries distances that none of the rest of us can maintain, because we aren’t Teela Hart.

This is just my way of trying to publicly blast her TRUTHS while she can’t defend herself and be all humble in her customary ways. She would probably never let this post through if she was editing, but she’s not so I’m running with it…

I love you, Tee. I’ve got your back; ALWAYS.


29 Comments

I’ve Not Been Freshly Pressed X 2


Not Featured On Freshly Pressed X2

Not Featured On Freshly Pressed X2

 

I would like to thank Rachel Carrera for nominating me for the “Not Freshly Pressed Award”.  This is my second nomination and I am very proud and honored to have received it.  Rachel is an awesome blogger and I do hope you do go and check her out.  I am more honored to have received it from a fellow blogger than from the staff of WordPress to tell you the truth.

Don Charisma made the “Not Freshly Pressed Badge”.  He is an amazing blogger and an awesome photographer.  Please go by and pay him a visit.  He is a true asset to our community.

At one point, I would have said that I care a great deal about getting freshly pressed, however, since my own growth and the growth of my blog I feel less and less that my desire to be “Freshly Pressed” is necessary.  I have come to discover that my main goal is to reach those I can in order to interact as much as possible with those who have suffered many kinds of trauma and hopefully be an encouragement.  I don’t need to be “Freshly Pressed” to do that.  All I need is my story and my time.

I usually have more story than time, but I do the best I can with what I have.

Here are the rules for accepting the award:

 

1. Select the blog(s) you think deserve the “I’m NOT Featured on Freshly Pressed Award”.
2. Write a blog post and tell us the blog(s) you have chosen (there are no minimum or maximum number of blogs required) and “present” the blog(s) with their award.
3. Include in your blog post a paragraph about why you’d like to be on WordPress’ Freshly Pressed OR a paragraph on why you couldn’t care less about Freshly Pressed. Up to you …
4. Let the blog(s) that you have chosen know that you have given them this award and share the instructions with them. (Please don’t alter the instructions or the badge!)
5. Come over and say hello to the originator of the “The I’m NOT Featured On Freshly Pressed Award” via this link: http://DonCharisma.org/2014/01/01/the-im-not-featured-on-freshly-pressed-award
6. And as a winner of the award- please add a link back to the blog that presented you with this award, and then PROUDLY display the award on your blog.
7. If you ever do get officially “Freshly Pressed” then take down this award badge and display the official “Freshly Pressed” badge instead.

My nominees are:

Ellie sofia

Anna at My Eclectic Existence

Head Games and PTSD

The Pensive Poet

Behind The Mask of Abuse


39 Comments

If I Should Think of Love, I’d Think of You


My greatest fear of all the fears in my life is that there will never be one who feels this for me.

“If I should think of love
I’d think of you, your arms uplifted,
Tying your hair in plaits above,
The lyre shape of your arms and shoulders,
The soft curve of your winding head.
No melody is sweeter, nor could Orpheus
So have bewitched. I think of this,
And all my universe becomes perfection.
But were you in my arms, dear love,
The happiness would take my breath away,
No thought could match that ecstasy,
No song encompass it, no other worlds.
If I should think of love,
I’d think of you.”

Shakespeare’s Sonnet

No one has ever gotten anywhere near the proverbial door to my heart save one and I’m sure he doesn’t even know it himself.


33 Comments

Dental Hell


I’ve had 4 dental procedures in 5 days and needless to say, it’s been a miserable five days.

Dental Procedures

 

I haven’t been reading a lot of blogs because of this incessant headache. (From the Nitrous) And the tooth pain from the root canals. (Two of them) Caps, wires and such.

All related to the abuse of the ex.

I am far behind on Awards and reading blogs.

I beg your patience with me.

I’ll get back to my old self soon.

I love y’all.

Teela


8 Comments

I’m Crazy


I had an on-line relationship once upon a time.

Crazy, I know.

It happened nonetheless.

This is a tribute to my Crazy Virtual Romance.

My romantic interest will probably never see this post, so I decided to let it all out.

It’s therapeutic you know.

Besides, I love this song and I couldn’t resist the opportunity to post it.

 


4 Comments

Coalition Against Domestic Violence


 These are the Safety Guidelines written by the Coalition Against Domestic Violence.I do not claim any authorshipl

Hotline Number: 1-800- 799-SAFE (7233)
TDD Number: 1-800-787-3224

Domestic and Sexual Violence Research Group Safety Strategies Workbook http://www.dvsafetyplanning.org/.

National Sexual Assault Hotline – 1-800-656-HOPE

Personalized Safety Plan
Your safety is the most important thing. Listed below are tips to help keep you safe. The resources in this book can help you to make a safety plan that works best for you. It is important to get help with your safety plan.

If you are in an abusive relationship, think about…

  1. Having important phone numbers nearby for you and your children. Numbers to have are the police, hotlines, friends and the local shelter.

  2. Friends or neighbors you could tell about the abuse. Ask them to call the police if they hear angry or violent noises. If you have children, teach them how to dial 911. Make up a code word that you can use when you need help.

  3. How to get out of your home safely. Practice ways to get out.

  4. Safer places in your home where there are exits and no weapons. If you feel abuse is going to happen try to get your abuser to one of these safer places.

  5. Any weapons in the house. Think about ways that you could get them out of the house.

  6. Even if you do not plan to leave, think of where you could go. Think of how you might leave. Try doing things that get you out of the house – taking out the trash, walking the pet or going to the store. Put together a bag of things you use everyday (see the checklist below). Hide it where it is easy for you to get.

  7. Going over your safety plan often.

If you consider leaving your abuser, think about…

  1. Four places you could go if you leave your home.

  2. People who might help you if you left. Think about people who will keep a bag for you. Think about people who might lend you money. Make plans for your pets.

  3. Keeping change for phone calls or getting a cell phone.

  4. Opening a bank account or getting a credit card in your name.

  5. How you might leave. Try doing things that get you out of the house – taking out the trash, walking the family pet, or going to the store. Practice how you would leave.

  6. How you could take your children with you safely. There are times when taking your children with you may put all of your lives in danger. You need to protect yourself to be able to protect your children.

  7. Putting together a bag of things you use everyday. Hide it where it is easy for you to get.

ITEMS TO TAKE, IF POSSIBLE click here to print check list.

bullet Children (if it is safe)
bullet Money
bullet Keys to car, house, work
bullet Extra clothes
bullet Medicine
bullet Important papers for you and your children
bullet Birth certificates
bullet Social security cards
bullet School and medical records
bullet Bankbooks, credit cards
bullet Driver’s license
bullet Car registration
bullet Welfare identification
bullet Passports, green cards, work permits
bullet Lease/rental agreement
bullet Mortgage payment book, unpaid bills
bullet Insurance papers
bullet Protective Order, divorce papers, custody orders
bullet Address book
bullet Pictures, jewelry, things that mean a lot to you
bullet Items for your children (toys, blankets, etc.)
  1. Think about reviewing your safety plan often.

If you have left your abuser, think about…

  1. Your safety – you still need to.

  2. Getting a cell phone. Getting a Protective Order from the court. Keep a copy with you all the time. Give a copy to the police, people who take care of your children, their schools and your boss.

  3. Changing the locks. Consider putting in stronger doors, smoke and carbon monoxide detectors, a security system and outside lights.

  4. Telling friends and neighbors that your abuser no longer lives with you. Ask them to call the police if they see your abuser near your home or children.

  5. Telling people who take care of your children the names of people who are allowed to pick them up. If you have a Protective Order protecting your children, give their teachers and babysitters a copy of it.

  6. Telling someone at work about what has happened. Ask that person to screen your calls. If you have a Protective Order that includes where you work, consider giving your boss a copy of it and a picture of the abuser. Think about and practice a safety plan for your workplace. This should include going to and from work.

  7. Not using the same stores or businesses that you did when you were with your abuser.

  8. Someone that you can call if you feel down. Call that person if you are thinking about going to a support group or workshop.

  9. Safe way to speak with your abuser if you must.

  10. Going over your safety plan often.

WARNING: Abusers try to control their victim’s lives. When abusers feel a loss of control – like when victims try to leave them – the abuse often gets worse. Take special care when you leave. Keep being careful even after you have left.

 


22 Comments

Most Forgettable Post Ever


All went well with my trip to the dentist.  The wisdom’s are out and it is now 5:45 am Saturday morning.  My mouth feels like someone took a jackhammer to it, I can’t sleep, and I’m still a little loopy, but other than that I feel great.

Thank y’all for your support.  I mean that.

I’ll be eating a lot of ice cream and drinking a lot of milkshakes and I like that.

Not sure how long it will be before I’m coherent enough to make any meaningful posts, but I wanted to give you a little update.

I go back o the DDS on Monday and have more work done on Tuesday.

Be well all.

Teela

 

 

 


2 Comments

Inspired


On July 17, 2006, Baez received the Distinguished Leadership Award from the Legal Community Against Violence. At the annual dinner event they honored her for her lifetime of work against violence of all kinds.

Thank you Lance for sharing this with us.

Texan Tales & Hieroglyphics

Someone I know (and admire), compelled me to post this video. (Unknowingly / Unwittingly) 

I hope you enjoy it.

It makes me feel so right about supporting Women’s Rights. (And Their Strength) 

(No more preaching here from me; I do not wish to degrade the effect of the Video)

Yes, I know. This is a Socialist Song. But, without support from the home…well…

I still maintain this is a woman’s song.

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17 Comments

Twenty-Three Days and Counting


In twenty-three days I will be hittin’ the road to the great mountainous regions of Tennessee.

It seems only fittin’ that I post a little of my favorite music from the Allman Brothers, Eat a Peach album. to get me ready for that glorious day.  I would have posted the live at Fillmore East vid, but that rascal is around 35 minutes long.

This is the shortest version I could find.

Enjoy the Mountain Jams, if you’ve a mind to.

It’s all jams by the way.

 


8 Comments

Coalition Against Domestic Violence


I received a much awaited letter from the Coalition Against Domestic Violence in the state I am currently residing.

I joined the coalition back in January when I started my blog.

I want to share with you some of the advances made in my state.

1) The budget for 2013 did NOT cut funding for the the upcoming year for the Council for Women for the Domestic Violence Center Fund that is intended to be distributed to domestic violence programs.

2) Senate Bill 302 was RENEWED for teams dedicated to examining deaths caused by domestic violence and has also included an additional two counties.

3) House Bill 24 passed (finally), providing for notification to the DA’s office if an abuser fails to complete a required abuser treatment program.  (Although I do not personally believe that completing these programs prevents future abuse to future victims.)  It does however, serve to throw the crazies in jail who refuse the program altogether.

4) Now here is the real killer:  Adjustments to the funding for domestic violence programs (more cash) to the court and attorney’s fees in 50B cases- WERE NOT PASSED.

I will be posting a petition shortly asking you to participate in, for example contacting government agencies electronically and so forth to continue the fight.

As we all know, without the funding for the courts and the attorneys most victims of DV stand not a chance in the world.  Going it alone is as dangerous as staying with the abuser.

Thanks for reading about our accomplishments as well as our failures.

Tee.


15 Comments

The Brave Heart Award


brave-heart-award-main-award-blueI’m still trying to catch up on the awards that were so graciously given and I am woefully behind and I do apologize for that.  I was given this award by Battered Wife Seeking Better Life.  I was also awarded this honor by Elicit by Nature many moons ago, who has since gone private, however, I feel it only right to thank her for considering me a brave heart.  They are both truly sister-survivors and I humbly accept this award and I am happy to pass it on.

Rules for accepting the award are as follows:

1) Thank the person who nominated you.

2) Post a comment on your nominees blog (with a link back to your Brave Heart Award results), notifying them that they have been nominated for The Brave Heart Award with the quote below.

Stand Strong You Are Not Alone

I call you a survivor, because that is what you are. There are days when you don’t feel like a survivor and there are days when the memories trigger your past and it feels like you are losing the fight – but you are not. Take the past and heal with it. You are strong. I want you to know that the abuse was not your fault. It does not matter what age it happened. You did not deserve it, you did not cause it, and you did not bring it on yourself. You own no shame, guilt, or remorse. In your life, you have faced many demons but look around you and you will see there is hope, and there is beauty. You are beautiful, You are loved, there is hope. You deserve to be loved and treated with respect. You deserve peace and joy in your life. Don’t settle for anything less than that. God has plans for you. Your future does not have to be dictated by your past.

Each step you take you are not alone.

Stand Strong.

3.  Take the 12 question interview yourself and share your answers on your blog.

4.  Nominate 12 blogs.

5.  Share the 12 question interview with your nominees to answer.

6.  Share your 12 nominees website/blog links on your blog page.

7.  You can not nominate a blog if they have already received the Brave Heart Award.

Interview with myself:

1) Tell us about your blog.

My blog chronicles my life as a victim and my transition into survivor, which, continues on a daily basis.  I tried to design my blog, however, I had to have a little help from my friends as I am IT challenged.  🙂

2) What is the title and description of your blog?

The title of my blog is a very simple one.  My name (pseudonym).  I chose the name…….are you ready for this?  I chose my name from the He-Man cartoon series.  Teela was the warrior goddess and Hart was chosen because I still have one even after the years of abuse I suffered.  I lived in Domestic Violence for 19 years before finally making the great escape/exodus etc.  I have many layers to my personality, some funny, some serious, some angry, some other stuff.  I’m just a woman.  No more, no less.

3) Who is your intended audience?

Originally, my intended audience was anyone who has been or still is in a domestic violence situation.  I believe that the spectrum has broadened.  In my mind, it makes sense to reach as many who are oblivious to domestic violence as I can in order to bring it to the forefront.  I want everyone I can reach to know DV is a real and deadly epidemic and desperately needs to be addressed.

4)  How did you come up with the title of your blog?

See # 2.  Other than that, “Surviving Domestic Violence” is what I do every day and it seemed to fit me.

5) Give us an interesting fun fact about your blog.

Well, I do not always blog about DV.  Sometimes I simply blog about my daily experiences, because, well, I’m still human, and I’m still a woman.  I frequently blog about music I love, life’s funny shit that gets thrown my way.  (Even though at the time it may not be all that funny.)  I can’t forget my rants which are not all that fun I suppose, but if you give it time (6 months or so) it get’s funnier.  😉

6) What other blogs do you own and what makes them alike?

None.  This is it.

7) Do you have any unique talents or hobbies?

This could be a loaded question, so, I’ll say not really.  Oh, I do love to ride the roads.  It clears my head.

8) How can we contact you or find out more about your blog?

I have my email address under contact on my blog and the only way to find out more about my blog is to read it.  😀

9) What can we expect from you in the future.

More of the same.

10)  What can readers do who enjoy your blog do to help make your blog more successful?

Feedback is always welcome, I have buttons so that readers can share on twitter or FB.  (You might not want to share my rants :/ ) But, please feel free to share anything else.  🙂

11)  Do you have any tips for readers or advice for other writers/bloggers?

Most definitely.  Be yourself.  Don’t be ashamed to be so.  Sometimes I feel I should be strictly DV oriented.  I have learned as I stated earlier in this post that I am an onion.  I have many layers.  I am more than a survivor.  I am survivor yes, but I’m also a woman with a mind of my own and it’s ok for me to be both.  Same goes for you.  Unless of course you’re a man.

12:  Before you go, could you share a snippet from your blog?

“Silence is Deadly”

Your heart, mind, body and soul is caged like a wild animal and you reciprocate by acting like one. You know nothing but obedience or reprisal. No one hears your cries of desperation; they turn a blind eye and may even take the side of your captor out of fear of retribution themselves. Your life’s spirit now sucked from you and into the vacuum of a soulless being, you give up the fight.

It is now time to die by either his hands or your own.

Silence is deadly.

My nominations:

Alien Aura’s Blog

afterthepsychopath

sociopathlife

Picking Up The Pieces

 

 


35 Comments

Sisterhood of the World Blogger Award


 

sisterhood

Quite a while back I was nominated for the Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award, by Cordeliasmom and I have to say I am honored.  I am very thankful for the award and her blog is awesome.  You should go check her out.  Especially if you want your funny bone tickled a bit.

According to the rules, I must share a bit about myself, display the badge on my site, and mention the person who nominated you in your post.  The problem with sharing about myself is that I’ve shared almost everything I can think of.  But, I will attempt to share some things you already know and a few things you may not know.

1) My favorite color is blue

2) I’m competitive when it comes to Canasta.

3) I am a rebel.  (You know tell me not to and……….well, I just might have to.)

4) I’m protective over my children.

5) I have a weird sense of humor.  (According to my children)

6) I’m an advocate for victims/survivors of Domestic Violence.

7) I love baseball. (The Atlanta Braves to be exact, but they choke under pressure and they need to work on that)

I would like to nominate my following sisters:

 All the sisters at the Cut-Throat Clubhouse

 

I can’t forget about the guys at the Clubhouse!

I have also nominated

“Noir” (Sedge808)

“The Dragon” aka “Willy Nilly”

For the  Peace and Justice Award.

peace-1

To accept the Peace and Justice Award:

Thank the person who nominated you.

Tell a little about yourself.

Nominate at least one person (more if you like) to receive the award.

Alright.  I skirted a few of the rules.

Like I said.

I am not always one to follow the rules.

Please post the award on your individual sites, as well as the Clubhouse site.  😀

I love y’all.

Teela aka Tee

 

 

 

 

 

 


2 Comments

THEN THERE IS THE THUNDERBOLT


Thank you Mike
Powerful words indeed.

- MIKE STEEDEN -

Image

Colours fading

Before the sun

Takes its leave

Of blue skies

Spells trouble

Weather changing

Storm brewing

Birds make haste

To vanish

 

Colours fading

Aura changing

This time to mist

Red mist

Dominion is to passion

What a savage man

Is to love

 

The abused know

Such changes well

Unpredictable

Violent

No defence

Against the weather

No defence

Against the relentless

Fist

 

Then there is the thunder bolt

Still she says nothing

The incidental nothing

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