Teela Hart

Surviving Domestic Violence

Cops??? I Chucked It On My Mother…

55 Comments


Let me say here and now.  I am (almost never, most of the time, usually) always on my best behavior and I am without doubt a law breaking abiding citizen. (Sarcasm)

I don’t go around making trouble as I have some sort of drug paraphernalia on me at all times. (Sarcasm again)

I have the utmost respect for law enforcement on a good day. (Sarcasm, and it may not end here, unlike the paved street)

I haven’t been pulled by a cop in…well…since I was a wee teen.

I suppose the cop that pulled me today was quite intimidated by my gangster appearance.  (One can never be too careful you know).  After all, I had my posse with me (my 69 year old mother and my 15 year old daughter).  I guess I asked for it.

My favorite Cop

My favorite Cop

I was ticketed.  I took my punishment like a real ‘trooper’, clenched teeth, fake smile, accompanied by the famous Clint Eastwood, make my day, look and all.

I drove away, cussin’ like a sailor, but I’ve not said one ugly word in this post and I’m happy about that.

My destination was clearly mapped out in my mind.  I had to get my mother home to get her diabetic meds.  I know, I know, I shouldn’t have been in that drug run, but I couldn’t help myself it was a true error in judgement on my part.  I don’t know what I was thinkin’.

Of course, I drove right by an apparent drug deal and the officer did too.

I know, you know the movie.

Apparent Drug Deal

I continued on and low and behold, my favorite cop made a U-turn and a high speed chase ensued as he had snagged yet another crew of vicious criminals who were traveling East at about the speed limit.  (An older lady and a younger one).

Poor felons.

Poor felons.

Yes I did.  I turned around just so I could take another photo.  Of my favorite cop.

In the blink of an eye I had an epiphany.  It is the 30th.  He has to get that quota in and it’s blatantly obvious he’s gonna do it all in one day.  Yes, that had to be it, or, someone pissed in his cornflakes this afternoon.  Or, someone has to pay for the new Police Station.

By the way, I was ticketed for………..

Alright, if you insist, here’s the whole sordid story:

I was wearing my seat-belt mind you, it clicked when I put it on.  You know the saying “click-it or ticket”?  I clicked it.  I adjusted it, placed it underneath my arm (I don’t do turtle-necks or seat-belts choking me to death) and as a result I must pay a $150.00 fine.  My contribution will help pay for the new police station that was erected three blocks from my home.

New Cop hangout.  Notice newly paved street.

New Cop hangout. Notice newly paved street.  Grand opening was? You guessed it. Yesterday!

 

Oh, I almost forgot, the city was kind enough to re-pave the street just in front of the new station.  Not the entire pot-marked street, just that one portion.

The buck stopped here. My buck.

The buck stopped here.
My buck.

FYI:  The crime rate in the county in which I live, is the highest in the state.  60% of violent crimes are related to domestic violence.  I sure would love to know where this dedicated law enforcement officer was when my ex was trying to run me over, driving down the sidewalk on the very street I just got pulled on, just one mile from the police station. (Not sarcastic)

I would dare to say that, looking back, he made the right decision.  I’m a zit on the face of society and clearly, I must be eradicated.

Thank you favorite cop.  I’m in total awe of your hard work and dedication.

We simply cannot leave this post without the “Cops” video ’cause…………. I’m a bad girl.

I must admit, this whole post, with the exception of two lines (my bad, three lines), is, in all it’s glory.  Sarcastic.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Author: Teela Hart

I am a mother, daughter, sister and domestic violence survivor.

55 thoughts on “Cops??? I Chucked It On My Mother…

  1. Reblogged this on By the Mighty Mumford and commented:
    CALLING ALL LAWYERS!!!! 😀

    Like

  2. Do I hear sarcasm in this lovely voice? 🙂

    Like

  3. I laughed so hard I cried!!! I didn’t do so well the last time I got pulled over for something stupid…It is great to see the humor in life…I can picture you getting that shot of favorite cop;-) Apparently he had been taking too many donut breaks and missed his quota..oops!

    Like

  4. This is the story of my life. I always say they should out a plaque on the wall of the Perth Amboy, NJ police complex with my name on it. Funny how they they let my ex beat the hell out of me but was always there for traffic violations….

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  5. Okay I will admit I love your story, but as an ED nurse I must ask you to get an adapter for that seat belt and wear it properly so you are around much longer. Worn incorrectly, under the arm!!!, causes more injuries!!! I love you, so please keep up the humour.

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  6. I too love a sarcastic rant…and I’m still laughing that you turned around to take a *shot*!

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    • Thank you Donna
      “Take a *shot*” I like that. 😀
      I am crazy that way, but I figured he was busy with the next poor soul and wouldn’t even notice me. I was right.
      😀

      Like

  7. You’re a very BAD girl Teela. I shouldn’t really comment or like as I may be hauled in as a BAD boy for reading this post. 😉 What the heck ! I’ll join your gang. ❤

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  8. Jeez, Teela, so sorry to hear about this latest example of complete Tosserism – and irony. I loved your sarcastic tone, thought it a brilliant and cathartic way of venting your justifiable anger at this utter wanker (technical term!). Excellent post in every respect – and I am about to share it on a bit.
    Hugs,
    Ali
    xxx

    Like

  9. You’re a treasure on this earth, to freinds and family. CTC being part of your family and no zit to us. You are working thru anger that you have every right to feel. Greiving/coping takes what ever time it takes. What’s important is you are getting it out with such a sense of humor. Hugs.

    Like

    • Thank you Light.
      I mean that. I am so glad I have y’all. Thank you for loving me just the way I am. It means more to me than you know.
      You noticed I didn’t use one ugly word. I’m proud of myself for that.
      Humor is all I have left. I may as well use it.
      Love and hugs
      Tee

      Like

  10. You make sure you ask for Officer Ticket Pad by name the next time you call when your ex is banging on your front door, Teela. He owes you some real police work.

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    • Thank you Mark.
      I have to agree with you on that one.

      I won the court case with the the last ticket I received when I was 17. (back when the dinosaurs roamed the earth.
      Got a standing O in the courtroom.

      Thanks again Mark.

      Like

      • I’ll give you a standing O again, right now. You had your seat belt on. Fight it, Teela, go ahead. And, FYI, the dinosaurs were out dancing when I was 17, too.

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      • Laughing.
        I’m seriously thinkin’ ’bout it.
        I’ll be sure to let y’all know all about it.
        And thanks for the standing O.
        I mean that.
        T

        Like

  11. Annoying, isn’t it. Cops around here have quotas, too. I try to avoid the streets they usually hide on.

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    • Me too. Unfortunately, this road couldn’t be avoided.
      And I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many cops on the same road in one day in my life.
      And yes.
      Annoying beyond belief.
      But, I gotta laugh about it.
      It’s the only decent thing to do.
      😀

      Like

  12. *laughing* I love your posts, and this one was perfect! Why does it seem like cops just like to be assholes for no reason? I bet your posse was intimidating to him, lol!

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  13. What we really need in this country is more and better marksmanship training. We really do. There are just too many innocent citizens being hurt and killed by violent criminals who usually miss the cops they’re shooting at.

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  14. LOL.. hilarious hun! oh and sorry for the ticket.. 😀

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  15. Teela, I do love you, if for nothing else, ‘cept the song and the video.

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  16. Great post, Teela. Your sarcasm is delightful, especially when directed at the city’s finest during their worst moments of criminal activity mitigation. You know they only target people that look like they can pay. It’s pointless to target criminals, because they don’t pay their fines, show up for court, or sit still while Homer writes the ticket. Nope, revenue is in the low hanging fruit of good citizenry. 🙂

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  17. I really hate the parts about your ex (injustice) but I think you should get your name on one of the new bricks that built the police station. . .

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