Let me say here and now. I am (
almost never, most of the time, usually) always on my best behavior and I am without doubt a law breaking abiding citizen. (Sarcasm)
I don’t go around making trouble as I have some sort of drug paraphernalia on me at all times. (Sarcasm again)
I have the utmost respect for law enforcement
on a good day. (Sarcasm, and it may not end here, unlike the paved street)
I haven’t been pulled by a cop in…well…since I was a wee teen.
I suppose the cop that pulled me today was quite intimidated by my gangster appearance. (One can never be too careful you know). After all, I had my posse with me (my 69 year old mother and my 15 year old daughter). I guess I asked for it.
I was ticketed. I took my punishment like a real ‘trooper’, clenched teeth, fake smile, accompanied by the famous Clint Eastwood, make my day, look and all.
I drove away, cussin’ like a sailor, but I’ve not said one ugly word in this post and I’m happy about that.
My destination was clearly mapped out in my mind. I had to get my mother home to get her diabetic meds. I know, I know, I shouldn’t have been in that drug run, but I couldn’t help myself it was a true error in judgement on my part. I don’t know what I was thinkin’.
Of course, I drove right by an apparent drug deal and the officer did too.
I continued on and low and behold, my favorite cop made a U-turn and a high speed chase ensued as he had snagged yet another crew of vicious criminals who were traveling East at about the speed limit. (An older lady and a younger one).
Yes I did. I turned around just so I could take another photo. Of my favorite cop.
In the blink of an eye I had an epiphany. It is the 30th. He has to get that quota in and it’s blatantly obvious he’s gonna do it all in one day. Yes, that had to be it, or, someone pissed in his cornflakes this afternoon. Or, someone has to pay for the new Police Station.
By the way, I was ticketed for………..
Alright, if you insist, here’s the whole sordid story:
I was wearing my seat-belt mind you, it clicked when I put it on. You know the saying “click-it or ticket”? I clicked it. I adjusted it, placed it underneath my arm (I don’t do turtle-necks or seat-belts choking me to death) and as a result I must pay a $150.00 fine. My contribution will help pay for the new police station that was erected three blocks from my home.
Oh, I almost forgot, the city was kind enough to re-pave the street just in front of the new station. Not the entire pot-marked street, just that one portion.
FYI: The crime rate in the county in which I live, is the highest in the state. 60% of violent crimes are related to domestic violence. I sure would love to know where this dedicated law enforcement officer was when my ex was trying to run me over, driving down the sidewalk on the very street I just got pulled on, just one mile from the police station. (Not sarcastic)
I would dare to say that, looking back, he made the right decision. I’m a zit on the face of society and clearly, I must be eradicated.
Thank you favorite cop. I’m in total awe of your hard work and dedication.
We simply cannot leave this post without the “Cops” video ’cause…………. I’m a bad girl.
I must admit, this whole post, with the exception of two lines (my bad, three lines), is, in all it’s glory. Sarcastic.