Teela Hart

Surviving Domestic Violence

This is a Fucking Rant! (Probably for my eyes only)

28 Comments


Please do not take this personally if you decide to read it at all.

It is not directed at any individual, but at a system of corruption and self-righteousness.

I am just me, looking through a rabbit hole skewed with nothing good and it’s painful and ugly.  No one wants to see the result of such a catastrophic set of events in a person’s life.  Especially that person, but it’s a necessary evil that I tend to need.  I have walked on eggshells forever.  This is a figurative smashing of those eggshells.

I really wanted to delete it and I probably should have.  But I cannot do that.

I’m not alone.  There are many survivors (of many different things) who feel this rage and they are not alone.  It’s important to me that those who do feel this way know that they are not alone.

Call it a lack of creativity in getting my point across.  Rebellion against holding my feelings in.  Call it whatever you like.

I mean no disrespect to any individual and that is where freedom of speech does come in as well as the freedom to choose not to read it.

I’m just being real here.

 

 

This is me.

Ranting to keep from exploding.

Although, I’m gonna fuckin hit the publish button of my own free will.

Un-coerced.  Un-censored.  Because if I don’t, I will fuckin explode.

 

It is however, directed at ANYONE who thinks they have all the answers, such as, but not limited to, Psychology, Physiology, Anatomy, or as I like to call ’em, distinguished members of the CTF, “the Card-Totin’ Fools”.  You are all being led around, like the most ignorant of all fucking animals.  Blind sheep-like sonsabitches tryin’ to lead the only fucking people that have the insight, wisdom and goddam experience necessary to walk this tight-rope we call fuckin’ survival.  I have two prized, golden, words for you.

FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Has anyone ever told your stupid-mother-fucking-idiotic-ass that it is possible to unscramble an egg?

They fuckin’ lied to you!   You cannot.  It is NOT possible.

This is the only way I know how to explain any of this shit to anybody, ever!  Ever!

As it is impossible to walk in someone’s shoes besides your fuckin’ own, get over your literate self and learn something from a veteran survivor of a constant war you know nothing of.  I am a SUR-VIV-OR!  (I decided to break that down for all the “schooled” mother-fuckers.)  Just in case.

I walked out of nursing school one day with all the wealth of knowledge available to me and I thought I knew it, ALL.  I learned real fuckin’ quick.  I DIDN’T.  I had to learn a little bit about the knowledge base I’d been given.  I learned it from the fuckin’ grunts.  I learned most of what I know from the grunts.  The VALUABLE, “nobodies” as you so eloquently put it.

Now let’s move on.  I hope all the idiots, in places they don’t fuckin’ deserve to be, got that shit.

WAR ZONE ENTRANCE: (Like there’s a fuckin’ sign other than bodies droppin’)

Fuckin’ CHAOS!  (I hope that paints the picture for ya)

Collateral damage is fuckin’ gynormous!  (Clearer now?)

Not only has the soldier been wounded, but also the nurse, the doctor, the medic, every-fuckin-body else is walking around with one limb and losing vital life’s blood caring for the most wounded, life-threatening injuries.  Arterial bleeds, eviscerations and avulsions (brains and guts hangin’ out).

Now first of all:  Maybe second, third, fourth and fifth of all.

I’m all about prevention.

Hell, let’s not have this fuckin’ war. (My arms are in the air and I got a real goddam sarcastic look on my face) because it’s

too late for some as the war’s been had and we’re all fucked, the only next logical step is…………?

Anyone care to make an oblivious guess?

 

It’s called DAMAGE-FUCKIN’-CONTROL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  TRIAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Breakdown:

This wound gets a bandaid.

This wound gets surgery.

This wound gets dead.

 

I live every-fuckin’-day in?

You guessed it!

TRIAGE.

I’ve briefed you on all the information that I have.  You got it all now? Chaotic so far, right?

Now, live it, like my children and I did and and still do and then come back and tell me somethin’ valuable.

I’m done!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

Author: Teela Hart

I am a mother, daughter, sister and domestic violence survivor.

28 thoughts on “This is a Fucking Rant! (Probably for my eyes only)

  1. Great rant! 5 stars. Honest, raw, to the point and fabulous. You checked every box. Ya got my support, for sure.

    Like

  2. Thank you for saying it for all of us! Amen!

    Like

  3. Rant away T…your wordpress family can take it! I’m sure I can speak for us all, we support you. Hugs!

    Like

  4. If we can’t rant it out on WordPress then where can we?! Glad you vented it out!! The lack of education and information ‘out there’ among the ‘professionals’ in ‘the system’ are absolutely infuriating some days.
    I do love the suggestion above of hitting the punching bag. I have one of those. It’s very satisfying. 😉
    Hope your day gets better… xo

    Like

  5. “Has anyone ever told your stupid-mother-fucking-idiotic-ass that it is possible to unscramble an egg?” What an excellent description of what happens with the verbal/mental/emotional & physical abuse we suffered. Good for you getting this ‘rant’ out, yet I wouldn’t call it a rant, I would call it what we live with~ even removed from the abusers, these words are wounds {that cannot be seen}. And with these words you painted a picture so that the Un-educated, the Un-informed, get a small {very small} glimpse of what years and years of abuse has done to you! Much Love to you my sister Survivor!!! ❤ ❤

    Like

    • Tela,
      I’m teary now.
      Thank you, thank you.
      If I could get my point across like you, I reckon I wouldn’t cuss like I do.
      Much love right back sister survivor!

      T

      Like

  6. Damn – I wish I could rant like this. You are awesome! Not just for being able to rant like awesome but because you just are awesome.

    Like

  7. I admire your courage. I said that in a post. I say that here and now.

    Like

  8. So, do you feel better, after having said all of that? If so, great, if not, you MIGHT want to use a PUNCHING bag, you know, the kind that hangs from the string from the ceiling, and just BEAT the CRAP out of it the next time you feel like this way…

    Like

Talk to me

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s