I’ve seen things that I cannot un-see and I’ve done things that cannot undo. I’m not going to throw that lemonade bullshit out there, but, I am gonna say that I’m just starting the hell over, from scratch. I’ve discovered that I have a lotta gravel and tar in my personality. Well, that’s not totally true, I’ve always had it, I just never let it out to play. Today I’m weak and I’m gonna put it out there. Just remember, I’m under construction and you know how it is on a construction site. A lot o’ saw dust, cussin, hollerin’, dirt piles, back hoes transits and the like. There’s always a nail gun, a glue gun, extention chords and a whole slew o’ raw materials.
I left home when I was 16, finished school, graduated from nursing school with honors, married, divorced, married and divorced. I ignored most “closed road” signs. Road Closed? Not a problem, I’ll just skirt right on around that mother fucker and keep on gittin’ it. This would be such an occasion for me, this particular post I mean. My naughty side wants to come out and play and I’m sorry for all involved, but I’m gonna let her.
Last summer I listened to a particular song over and over. I didn’t pay any attention to the words, I liked the beat. It made me wanna dance and dance I did, every time I heard it. My children got a real kick out of it, mainly because I clueless to the words or insinuations therein. So, one fine day my daughter showed me the video of said song and I became, well, irate and more than a little irritated that I could no longer bop to the beet of this particular favorite of mine. It was a true shock and awe moment when I realized my “hypocrisy knows no bounds.” (Doc Holiday)
As is true to me, I set out to make that shit right and
stumbled looked for something to put this song to shame. (As much as it breaks my heart.) Without further ado, I present you with a masterpiece parody of this song. It makes me feel better and I can most assuredly continue to dance with conviction now.
Men: This may be offensive to you, but it’s funny as hell to me. Just so you know, I wouldn’t say I’m a feminist, but I suppose that depends on one’s definition of feminist. I use the word loosely.