Teela Hart

Surviving Domestic Violence

For The Sake Of All Humankind, Would Someone Get Shorty!


In the search for myself today I came across a most lovely silver lining to a somewhat shitty cloud of the past and here she be:

silver liningIn seeing this lovely lining I decided to head downtown to the local fountain and contemplate my journey through this somewhat rocky life.

contemplating 2Then I discovered that pigs actually do fly, as I watched them land right smack dab on the roof of the local exploration station and of course, I had an epiphany.

If pigs can fly, then surely I can fly.



Oh, I get it, you want proof, you’re not going to take my word for it huh?


pigs flying 2So, I decided to head on down to the local airport that has all of two planes, nah, more like five or ten, but first I had to stop by and sing with Elvis (I saw a flyer advertising this once in a lifetime chance).  He was giving an awesome performance of Hunk O’ Burnin’ Love and of course I had to join in cause I’m hip like that.


I gotta prove it again?


Have it your way, cause “I did it my way.”

Obviously he had me “All shook up.”

hunk o burnin loveThis was our performance if you wanna check it out.

Burnin’ Love

Of course grandpa prefers Betty Boop, I mean let’s face it, we look an awful lot alike!  Check her out, I have blue eyes, and blonde hair and it’s obvious we’re twins.

betty boopAlright, let’s move on, but before I do, let me say here that both Betty and Elvis made their somewhat magical appearance at the bait and tackle shop which just so happened to be beside the “blessed sausage” shop.

Blessed sausage?

I’m not sure what that means but I’ll just stick to the heathen sausage myself.

bait and tackleblessed sausageOn to the important stuff. I drove strait to the itty bitty airport.

going to flyTook a look at a few airplanes.  None of which looked all that safe, but I looked nonetheless.

thinkin bout flyinThen I met Roger, who promised me it would be safe because he’s 72 and has been flying a long time.  My only doubt is that there is a possibility I could have a heart attack mid flight and then he’d have one because I had one and that would be as they say the “end of story Nard.” (“Firebase Gloria”)

This is Roger, he’s a sweetheart!

mr rogerAfter Mr. Roger (Ha), and I struck up a deal I decided it was time to end the journey for today, but not before stopping by the local BK for a rather large iced tea.  You know my journey would not have been complete without a little RobCo style to make me wince in pain and that’s when I met Shorty.  I wanted to get Shorty and ask him why?

Just why?

Here you have a look and maybe you can tell me why.

get shorty (3)Oh, well, I got a chuckle at this craziness and I still got my super large iced tea and that’s all I’m gonna say about that.

iced teaHave a nice night y’all.

Cause, I’m out!  😉

hat shopping cover





Author: Teela Hart

I am a mother, daughter, sister and domestic violence survivor.

14 thoughts on “For The Sake Of All Humankind, Would Someone Get Shorty!

  1. I lost count of how many times this made me laugh, Teela.


  2. You wouldn’t be the first one got stuck on heathen sausage.

    Gawd, that was as lousy a pun as it was easy. ‘Scuse me while I stab myself in the eye with a used up old Bic pen as penance for that.

    Kinda sounds like two fine days in a row there. Keep that stuff up and they won’t welcome you at the lunch counter.


  3. Wow – I would have loved to sing with the King;). And my oh my Ms. Boop has quite a set of ‘twins’. I could never have my picture taken with her. I would feel wayyyy inadequate. 😉


  4. ‘If pigs can fly, then surely I can fly.’



  5. Made a good time AND shared it…good time for us all. Thank you for that!


  6. All in all, sounds like you had a good day 😉 Mr Roger was a highlight but Shorty takes the cake!


  7. Sounds like you had a good time. You deserve it.


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