Teela Hart

Surviving Domestic Violence

Do Ya’ll Want To Know The Truth?

42 Comments


The day before my escape from the war zone that had been my life, I ran to my neighbor’s house with my children for safety.

The week prior to my court date I asked my neighbors to testify to what they’d seen.

Their answer?

“It ain’t none of our business, we remain neutral.”

My 12 year old son had to testify, because of course, I’m crazy.

Three months before abandoning EVERY fuckin’ thing, social workers were sent to our home to determine why our children hadn’t been to school.

His reply?

“I worked Black Ops, I don’t even exist. I know ya’ll have an agenda here, I’m a human lie detector, now what are you really doin’ here.”  The only black op he’d ever seen was in his own black soul.

The week prior to my court date I paid a little visit to said social workers and asked them to testify.

Their reply?

We don’t recall any such conversation.

Four months prior to my exodus, I hid in the bathroom to call my dad. I stood next to the door so I could hear footsteps. I didn’t, but he was there, listening to my every word, became enraged and kicked the door in. The door put a gash in my forehead. The phone flew from my hands.

His response?

“I told you your mama’s crazy, look what she did to herself, now she wants to blame it on me.”

My response:

W-A-K-E   T-H-E   F-U-C-K   U-P   P-E-O-P-L-E

You want to save the animals, the ozone, the economy,  the fuckin’ trees and while I agree with all that shit, how about you take into consideration that without the fuckin’ woman there’d be no one here to admire all the other shit you’re tryin’ to save.

Three women are killed by their husband/intimate partner/boyfriend EVERY single day.

LEARN SOMETHIN’ ABOUT THIS SHIT.  HUG A VICTIM INSTEAD OF A DAMN TREE.

 

 

 

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Author: Teela Hart

I am a mother, daughter, sister and domestic violence survivor.

42 thoughts on “Do Ya’ll Want To Know The Truth?

  1. Pingback: Do Ya’ll Want To Know The Truth? | This is Important

  2. Had I been your neighbor, I would have gone with you to court, Teela.

    Once when I lived alone, before I had children, there came a frantic knock on my apartment door late at night. A man was supposedly being chased by another person with a knife. I was crazy scared, but my immediate thought was, if it were me, I would need someone to let me in. I told them to hang on…and I got my phone out near the door for them to call the police and then I locked myself in my bedroom, gave them the go-ahead to come in. They called the police and got rescued.

    I don’t know if I saved a life or not, but my friends and family thought I was a lunatic for letting that person in…

    I’d do it all over again. Not only because I’d want someone to do it for me, but there’s Karma.

    People who say, “It’s not my business” are egoistic cowards.

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  3. When I screamed for someone to call the police and heard back a clear “Shut Up!”, I thought maybe they would call anyway, it was a bluff or deterrent. But the police confirmed for me, later, that no one but myself had called, after putting that shattered phone back together with shaking hands. I have better neighbors, now. I hope you have better neighbors now, too.
    The system is guilty, too, of looking the other way. They charge what they can prove, not from what offenses actually occurred. In my case, felonies became misdemeanors, and he is free, and his history will clear eventually. I am sorry for whoever’s daughter is next.

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    • Thank you for sharing that. You are right. *Jon* didn’t go to jail, well he went, got out and the charges reduced and he’s free today. Same old song and dance.
      It’s all a sickening situation. I don’t know if I have better neighbors now. But they know if my porch light ever goes out to call me and if I don’t answer to call the cops. It burns bright every night. I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with that.
      Lots of Hugs.
      Teela.

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  4. Wow. I’m amazed at your strength. Its very encouraging. Hugs

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  5. You are a strong woman, Teela Hart, and I love you. Unfortunately, we are in too good company when it comes to trying to get help, being turned away or brushed off, and then have people lie about it later. Then they want to turn around and say, “Why did you stay?” *blinks* People watch physically violent things happen in public, and then the second they notice we see them, they try to act blind, like they don’t know he just punched you in the head. Then they want to turn around and say, “It wasn’t my business. I couldn’t make you leave.” *blinks*

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  6. Hugs Teela – for you, and every victim – including our trees.

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  7. You tell ’em Teela! “HUG A VICTIM INSTEAD OF A DAMN TREE.” Love it (and you, too, brave lady)

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  8. Boom, definitely a wakeup call, people are happy to care from a distance, but when it involves something right in front of them, they unfortunately often fail….I like all those other things too, but I appreciate your message, very powerful!

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  9. Reblogged this on Addison's Waves of Green and commented:
    A brave, honest and soulful post!!

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  10. Hey Teela,

    You have reenergized me. I’ve been trying to get this knowledge out for a while but, like you I found that most people don’t really care. What really infuriates me is this is the best example of the way we’ve completely shit on our Constitution and the basic foundations of our country. We are not The land of the brave and free if we allow this to happen: three deaths a day. This is pathetic. And we wonder why our country’s going to Hell. Thanks for posting this. Your friend from WordPress, Neil

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    • Thank you Neil.
      I REALLY appreciate your support Neil.
      This one made me out to be more harsh than usual.
      But it infuriates me to no end.
      Someday, enough people will be overcome with righteous indignation and things will get done.
      Your words have truly strengthened me.
      Teela

      Like

  11. Society, in general, is confused. We demand and fight for personal rights and privacy, yet we don’t recognize the social value and progressive implications of interjecting ourselves when approached and called upon to do so. Is this a general laziness and selfishness? Absolutely! There are few of us willing to be warriors for ourselves and each other, but I believe action is contagious. We must maintain the momentum and never give up. I am hopeful society will begin to build more energetic and positive motion that will catapult forward one day. Those of us already progressing, mustn’t give up. 🙂

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  12. Praise GOD! You are a TRUE survivor!

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  13. BRILLIANT, Teela; I couldn’t agree more. This kind of bullying (NPD/Gaslighting, as well as the physical violence) is aimed at destroying sense of identity so that the victim feels he/she is mad and the abuser is a saint for tolerating such unworthy human being. Some Narcissists are convincingly concerned about problems in the world – even go on marches to support ecological causes – whilst abusing their nearest and dearest in the home. xxx

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    • It’s a harsh post, and I’m not typically so harsh. But, I started this thing and I won’t keep quiet.
      I hope I can evolve into a flower child and love everybody into submission….;)
      Seriously,
      It’s the truth, an ugly truth and I’m somewhat bullheaded.
      THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT.
      Hugs

      Liked by 1 person

  14. HUG A VICTIM INSTEAD OF A DAMN TREE

    Great point Teela.
    The video was difficult to watch and listen, but very informative.
    Thanks for sharing and getting the word out there.

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  15. THANK YOU FOR BEING BRAVE AND SAYING THIS!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. I’m sorry this has happened to you. I’ll tell you one thing personal that hurts your cause, and please don’t be mad at me, this really happened to me. My ex would call the cops on me to go screw her boyfriend while I was in jail. She would hit herself call 911 and said I did it. She would 911 my ass at the drop of a hat, if she was losing an argument or was just mad at me or the world. It was a power trip. She was detoxed 17 times, in a mental ward twice. the shrinks and counselors knew she was falsely accusing me, but the court system didn’t and still don’t. She’s still a drunken pill head, and she accuses every guy she’s been since our divorce of abuse, including her brother. she’s a perpetual victim and seriously mentally ill. But the cops always believe her. There are women who do this, and that doesn’t mean reports should be taken lightly by any means. they should be properly investigated and the perpetrator prosecuted. And if the perp is a lying female she should be forced to get help or go to jail. She literally ruined my life with these arrests. I lost a new lover because Canada, where she lived, wouldn’t let me cross the border b/c of domestic violence arrests. However, my mother and I was physically abused by my dad, he came very close to killing me once. I know what it’s like on both sides of the fence. Warm hugs and support for you from me ~ Dave

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    • Women like this make it so much harder for victims to get away, get out and get safe. Makes it hard on the rest of us.
      I’m sorry that happened to you. It sucks.
      The cold hard facts are that the system can be manipulated. Sociopaths comes in the form of women as well.
      Investigation is the key. Unfortunately that rarely happens to the degree that it should. It’s often he said, she said. And until the public, real people decide to step up, be the witness, testify, I fear there will be little change.
      As I stated in my post, I couldn’t get witnesses, everybody wants to turn a blind eye, avoid unnecessary ugliness.
      These issues can be argued and voted on and whatever else up on the Hill. But if it doesn’t trickle down to local levels and if people don’t wake up I fear there will be little change.
      I appreciate you sharing your story. DV is not prejudiced, it can infect anybody, anywhere, anytime.

      Liked by 1 person

      • What a brave and soulful post! The attached video was heartbreaking and made me think if my own situation that I escaped from. You are amazing! Hugs, Addison

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      • Thank you Addison. And thanks for the reblog. I look forward to gettin’ to know ya and be an ear if you need one.
        Hugs right back.

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      • No problem! It’s been awesome to find so many supporters and go from feeling alone to feeling so accepted. I look forward to your blogs and words of wisdom, no matter how harsh. Sometimes the bitter truth is what awakens and inspires us!

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      • Thank you. I’m so glad you feel at home here, there are a lot of us around.
        Hugs

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    • Wow Dave….very very horrific what you went through {and possibly are} still going through. Like Teela said, and I posted about, women are even more capable manipulating the system because when they shed those FAKE tears, cry all sorts of abuse, the courts listen! Why? Because to often, sadly, men DO abuse women and then you take the female sociopath who ABUSES those cases and makes herself out as the victim. Even though cases are ‘investigated’ , a sociopath is soooo convincing in their lies that unless a trained professional does the ‘investigating’ chances are the actual victim will only be victimized again by the police, courts and sociopath.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Like I said, the mental health professionals did know the truth. The court didn’t listen to them, I don’t know why. Politics? I don’t know. I’ll gladly take this role I’ve been given as my learning experience, and if it will help stop one abuser it’s worth it. In jail when I was telling other inmates, the cops, lawyer and the judge that I didn’t do anything, they said “Everyone says that.” And that’s true. It is what it is. I could never understand why my dad beat me, and he didn’t like me to the day he died, 5 years ago. I know what it’s like to be a victim, in those days abusers were pretty much free to abuse. I have granddaughters now, and if someone abused them I’d be so heartbroken and enraged, I don’t know that I could control myself. My therapist suggested I married my dad to finally get his love but was victimized all over again. Weird if that is true, and it could be. :/

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      • It does seem like an insurmountable issue. I have yet to acquire the grace to simply accept it. The only outlet I know is fight it.
        Everything you said is true unfortunately.
        As far as therapists go. Well, good ones are hard to find.
        I admire you for sharing your story. Not many men do. I think it is a plus that you have felt at ease to do so here in my neck of the woods.
        I believe together that we can be heard and if only one victim is set free, we’ve done well.
        Hugs Brother Survivor.
        Teela.

        Liked by 1 person

  17. What a fantastic & heartbreaking post!!!

    Like

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